Revisiting previous love affairs 01/26 by Christine Pembleton | Blog Talk Radio.

Her.meneutics: Real Women Don’t Text Back: How Women Fuel the Man-Boy Problem.

Question of the Week: Is Your Church Sexually Healthy?.

http://www.streamingfaith.com/news/church/story/sexperiment-pastor-wife-to-spend-24-hours-in-bed-on-church-roof

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Men are complaining because they feel as though they’re not being heard until it’s time to establish paternity and pony up that child support money. This is understandable because it reduces men to viewing themselves as little more than walking talking wallets/ATM’s/or worst yet, biological sperm donors, especially if HIS lifelong vision of fatherhood was to be a responsible parent and now he feels robbed of that choice.

Women are complaining because they are still fighting for rights that have been denied them for centuries. One of those rights is the ability todecide when and with whom to procreate with. In other words control over their bodies and destinies. This is understandable, being a woman myself; I definitely understand where they’re coming from especially in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. Having lived through the experience of being an unwed parent, I know first hand that while men can often feel victimized; most of the time it’s the woman who gets holding the bag (baby). Mainly because if she decides to keep the baby, she faces a lifetime of doing a job that was meant to be done by two people. This is not meant to play down those women (and men) who, like me, have successfully raised children alone. But, single parenthood was not God’s original plan for mankind from the beginning, so what we see many times is people who have persevered, again successfully, through a less than ideal situation. This would support the argument to practice responsible sexual conduct. Responsible sexual conduct for the purposes of this essay would mean either abstaining from sex until marriage or using birth control (i.e. condoms, since we’re talking about men). While I understand both perspectives, there’s another viewpoint that’s missing from this debate. That would be the voice of the children. Under the law a child’s rights (interests) are seen as being more important than men’s or women’s reproductive rights and with good reason. Children are seen as being unable to care for themselves until they reach the legal age of adulthood (18 yrs.). Plus, children don’t ask to be made. They are often the byproduct of someone else’s planning or lack of planning. So since they don’t get to choose who their parents are, they are also helpless against the choices their parents make about how to handle their existence. That includes fathers who “opt out” of fatherhood. One the main problems we have is that birth control has been around for so long that we seem to forget that there was time in the industrialized nations that birth control was illegal (even for married couples) and considered to be immoral. Those were the days that sex was considered to be for procreation only and believed to be a “good wife’s duty to her husband.” Sexual pleasure seemed to be a man only concept and women’s pleasure was secondary, if it was considered at all. There were a lot of large families (up to 22+ siblings) and it wasn’t uncommon for women to die in childbirth from having too many children. Because of this many women didn’t enjoy sex as much because of the fear of getting pregnant. The whole birth control movement began in 1914 and was created out of women’s (married couple’s actually) desire to choose when and how many children to have. Contraception was actually a married couple’s only concept at this time. Singles, at least women, weren’t supposed to be having sex outside marriage. Abortion for unwanted pregnancies was around but wasn’t legal until much later.

The reason I mention the whole birth control issue isn’t to slam birth control. I believe in a couple’s right to choose how many children they have andhow often they procreate. It’s just as irresponsible for a married couple to have children they can’t afford to care for as it is for people who aren’t married to make children and not aid in the care of those children. I mention birth control because for the past 51 years we’ve lived in the post Free Love Era for so long that I often believe that we forget that sex is how children are created. So when children are made we often act surprised to hear that one is on the way (even after unprotected sex). And because of attitudes like this, both men and women are arguing over whom’s responsible for the outcome when a child is the result of sex that wasn’t intended to produce life but did anyway. Tradition thinking says because it’s the woman’s body, under the law,she has the final say so over whether or not she wants to carry a baby to term or abort. To a lot of men this seems unfair, because, as the argument goes, she didn’t make the baby by herself so why should she have the final say over whether or not HIS child lives. Or if she decides to have the baby and gives it up for adoption, he wonders what his rights are because maybe he wanted to raise the baby himself (in many states the father’s right are starting to be considered more and more) Then there’s the other side to this argument. The guy who did all the right things and the condom broke. Or he thought she was “on something” and it turns out she lied about it, or she tricked him some other way. Once again, why should he be responsible for a child he didn’t want with a woman whom he never had any intention of marrying in the first place? That last question brings this essay back to its title. The best interests of The best interests of the child(ren) are served when men and women remember two of the primary purposes of sex. To produce offspring (babies) and for the renewal of the marital covenant. From the beginning God instituted sex to be done within the bonds of marriage for both men and women (no double standards). Men wanting “financial abortions” is an indicator that mankind has definitely fallen short of God’s original plan for the family. Divorcing sex from procreation creates a disservice to children because it is how they are created. When you do what makes a baby, you shouldn’t be surprised to get a baby. Germaine Grizez made the point (Grizez, 1997) that abandoning “ traditional Christian values” has contributed to the maltreatment of children because people no longer see children as a normal part of family life and so they’re no long considered to be “gifts from God” (Palms 127:3). At what point should a person be allowed to “abort” parental obligations? At what point does life begin?

At the moment that conception occurs, both parents have an obligation to decide how the best interests of the child they made would be served. Should they marry? Should they abort? Should they place the baby up for adoption? Or should they just resolve to parent the child together but not necessarily married to each other? Each situation is different. Or let’s go back in time, should we be having sex? If we do have sex and a child results, would we be good parents together?Would we be able to enter into a life long contract of pa parenthood and put ourdifferences aside for the sake of any child we make together? Maybe we shouldremain friends (with no benefits).

Savali, Kirsten. “Should Men Have the Right to Financial Abortions.” Your Black World. 21 10 2011: n. page. Print.

Engelman, Peter C. (2011), A History of the Birth Control Movement in America, ABC-CLIO, ISBN 9780313365096.

Grizez, Germaine. “Difficult Moral Questions (Question 27).” Way of the Lord Jesus.01 1997: n. page. Web. 19 Nov. 2011. <www.twoltj.org/G-3-27.html>.5

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Now we dont even find out the culprit in the unplanned pregnancies of our daughters until AFTER the deed has been done, and the only dates that our youth seem to know of are the court dates that they find out about when it is time for the little stud muffin to cough up the child support if the paternity can ever be proved in the first place!

via Sexually Transmitted Demons.

Now back off my soap box and on to the topic at hand. HORNINESS. Being horny has nothing to with whether you’re a good or  bad person. Admitting that you struggle sexually doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you normal.  What you do with horniness is what counts. Now by this being a blog written by a Christian (me), my stance is that sex is for marriage only. But, what if you’re not married.? And what if you want to live for God, but this horny thing keeps tripping you up? The beautiful thing about a relationship with Jesus Christ is that as citizens of the kingdom of heaven, we have supernatural power over evil principalities. We’re not just saved from the penalty of sin but from its power over us (Romans 6:11-23). The reason I mention evil principalities is that  some people suffer from sexual maladies like porn addiction, sex addiction, frigidity, etc. and  sometimes these can be the result of a spiritual issue.  I’m  NOT calling  horniness evil or the work of the devil (it’s not). As I stated earlier horniness is a sign of normality NOT abnormality. However, if you have spiritual issues like the ones states above, it can multiply whatever you would feel in a normal state of horny and kick it up a notch making it very hard to abstain. If you’re married and experiencing horny, good. Unless your horny is directed to someone other than your spouse.  Not good. At all. However marital lovemaking is the healthiest, safest expression of love that a couple can offer one another. Next week, I’ll continue one in this vein unless I’m “led” to write about something different.  I’m new to this however, because I love ministering to people about a variety of topics, I’m going to invite you contact me at anjanettepotter@hotmail.com .  Email me with any questions, critiques, or topics you would like me to write about. You can contact me at this email address to discuss my other blogs, AnjanetteSpeak , HappySpinster, and BOOKWORM too.

In His Name,

Sis Anjanette